abetterme33's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIBLE 000 (readings in peter)

my thoughts this evening have been in 1 peter 14:

starting with verse 6, it states:

[6] Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
[7] That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
[8] Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
[9] Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.
[10] Of which salvation the prophets have inquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you:
[11] Searching what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory that should follow.
[12] Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into.
[13] Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
[14] As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:

this chapter really speaks to me tonight. in the 6th verse we read of rejoicing that comes with faith through temptations (slash troubles). in the 7th verse we read of the certainty of the trying of our faith that it may come forth as gold. the 13th verse encourages us to "gird up our loins", to be sober, and to have faith. the 14th verse signifies our need to be obedient as children and not turn to our former lusts.

when i read of the hope and glory that comes in serving God's will, i question why any one that knows of His grace would ever want to stray or follow "former lusts".

why would any one want to turn back from whence they came after knowing of God's goodness?

why are there fallacies in human nature that cause us to want to be prideful, to stray, and to seek our own will when we know what's best for us?

i don't quite know why i neglect to do God's will in order to seek my own when I know His leads to comfort and perfection.

i don't know why i seek former lusts when i know they'll lead to a path of darkness and agony.

perhaps it has to do with my thoughts. in the infantile stage, minuscule wanderings and murmuring of the heart are quite innocent by design but as they mature, corruption insists itself upon any virtue we may have casting our integrity by the wayside.

my thoughts are on this because i've recently had the greatest revelation. perhaps for the first time in my life, i have truly prayed and professed my love for God and of His will and way. for the first time in my life i have sought what's right be a standard other than my own corrupt one.

the joy and gratitude received has been monumental. for a fleeting second, i felt like i could say that i felt like david, a man after God's own heart. i truly rejoiced in the Lord.

although i've been going to church all my life and have to submissive to christianity through most of it, i don't think i have ever been worthy to be called a christian, as i believe by definition, a christian is one that follows after Christ.

i have believed the Bible, i have prayed, i've very often given luke-warm service, and have attended church regularly, i don't think i have ever been truly qualified to be called a follower of Christ.

i have completely submitted myself for the first time in my life and have received joy untold. i have never known the joys being a true follower of Christ until now, but i know the temptations that lurk in the world.

i know how frail and vulnerable my heart is and how easy it is to allow corrupting thoughts in my mind.

"former lusts" lurk at every turn waiting to rapture this joy from me. but i can't let them enrapture me. i can't turn to sorrow any longer...

i can't look back.

12:21 a.m. - 2009-01-13

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next